smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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