you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize