If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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