i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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