Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize