After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
