Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize