This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just cropdusted the office
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
