There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her