We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
