So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
