I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
