Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
