I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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