the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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