I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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