You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
