my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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