I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
