I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
