he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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