How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
