it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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