I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
