3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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