are you still at the devil's house?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
