I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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