Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just pee around me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
