Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This girl is more easily done than said...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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