I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
