She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
