so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
