Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize