i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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