Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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