hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So much rum. So many feels.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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