All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize