the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
