At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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