**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Life is so much better after having sex.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
this hospital has no fireball
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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