Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
