and she was petting her beer can
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
