I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
