At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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