that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
