YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
