My nipple is on Facebook.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
