Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
