Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize