No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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