38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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