you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
