If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
