Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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