Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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