I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
