We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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