i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
