no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
