I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
