Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
