I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
