So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
