worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
