You're so nebulous sometimes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
