Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
