Non-Jews are for practice
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
